for Bennington

you, too, think he was a coward, no? 

“what a pussy!”

“he quit too soon, what a shame!”

“never thought he was the suicide sort!” 
you have conveniently forgotten

that you too had tried to end your life

a zillion times but stopped –

not because you mustered the zeal to stay alive

but because you realised

that staying alive was easier

 than killing yourself

with your own bruised, battered hands

you realised that you would be despised

because suicide is an act of cowardice

and you won’t be the hero you were meant to be.

so calling him a coward makes you feel braver

but you don’t know that.

you don’t know that he knew

that you would call him a coward and say “he was no hero!”

he knew you’d despise him

but he went ahead anyway. 

you don’t know that we all die 

fighting different battles –

while some of us wait

wait for time and fate and destiny

to end our battles for us

some others choose to end their own battles 

even when they are unprepared

even when their head their heart their hands scream

pleading for them to stay, to live. 

but they silence all voices, and say their goodbyes anyway

because they no longer want to find out 

if they failed the world 

or the world failed them. 

[Sadly, even after he gave his all to the world, the world could not save him. But maybe he saved himself. Maybe he has finally found the peace he was seeking. You will live on forever, Chester Bennington.]


3 thoughts on “for Bennington

  1. Beautifully sad. I have loved Chester and Linkin Park for years. I hate seeing this. I hate that he felt that was his only option. I hate what his closest friends must be feeling. I hate what his wife and children are going through. I hate that he left us too soon, and wished he would have reached out just a little harder, or that someone close to him would have sensed what was happening. It truly breaks my heart, that people can not find a sliver of a silver lining on their lives to grasp on too. A sliver to keep them alive. Nothing, so they fade away…… 😢

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Medication can keep the torment away. That kind of depression is tormenting and it is very very powerful. If anyone feels as he did – get help. I did and I’ve been alive and doing well for a long time, since the first time I felt like he did.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: for Bennington – Vistas

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